Ten Reasons Mickey Smith Is Not Rickey Smith
by GwaithGweneth
Summary: Mickey Smith is not Ricky Smith. Jake knows this, but sometimes he's not sure just what the differences are. Jake/Mickey, past Jake/Ricky
1. Chapter 1

**Title: The Top Ten Reasons Mickey Smith Is _Not_ Rickey Smith  
**

**Summary: Mickey Smith is _not_ Rickey Smith. But sometimes Jake isn't sure exactly what the difference is.  
**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who. If I did I'd...probably still be writing fanfiction, but I wouldn't post it.  
**

**Notes: Jake/Mickey, past Jake/Rickey. So, yeah, concrit is very much appreciated, reviews are chocolate, concrit is truffles, and somewhere in there are jellybabies. There will be a second chapter.  
**

Mickey Smith was identical to Ricky Smith. Physically, at least. His nose curved the same way, he looked the same when he was angry. He scrunched up his nose the same way, and slouched the same way when he was pouting. He pouted the same, too- stuck his lip out just as far as Rickey.

Mentally, he was different. Or, mostly different. But he was just as determined. He loved it just as much, too, the fighting, the saving the world. The running. Rickey had always loved running, he just hadn't been fast enough in the end. Which really wasn't fair. You'd think with all the running he did he'd be faster. You'd think he'd be as fast as Mickey. But Mickey had gotten there, and Rickey hadn't, and that was the difference. Mickey was alive.

Jake wasn't sure anymore what all the differences were. He used to know, he used to be able to tell you twenty reasons off the top of his head how they were different. He'd made a list once, daft as it was, the Top Ten Reasons Mickey Smith Was _Not_ Rickey Smith Even If They Do Look Kinda The Same. It was a very long title.

1. Rickey was braver.

2. Rickey was more clever.

3. Rickey scrunched up his nose.

4. Rickey did that thing with his tongue that Jake liked.

5. Rickey knew things about Jake that no one else did.

6. Rickey fought the system.

7. Rickey knew that sometimes you have to stay away from the people you love so you can protect them.

8. Rickey loved Jake.

9. Jake loved Rickey.

10. Rickey was faster.

But Mickey was brave, too. So brave. He had figured out how to turn off the emotional inhibitor and all as well, so that was number two out. And he scrunched up his nose the same way sometimes, he had done since Rickey died. It might have been better if he'd always done it, but he hadn't. Just since Rickey died. And that thing that Ricky did with his tongue? Mickey'd figured that out _months_ ago.

There were things that only Rickey knew about Jake. Things that Jake wouldn't tell anyone else ever. Things that Jake hadn't even told Rickey. Things Jake hadn't even known until Ricky told him. About his dad, about his mum, about the shrink, all of them, about that time in eight grade with Mike and the beer and the exams...

And Mickey fought the system, too. And he'd learned about protecting the people you love- besides, with Cybus Industries shut down, there wasn't much call for it. The cybermen were dangerous, but they weren't going to come after your family to get to you.

Then there was number eight. Ricky loved Jake- though not enough to run faster. And Jake had loved Ricky, though he thought maybe he hated him a little, now. But Jake thought maybe he loved Mickey, as well, and he _knew_ he sort of hated him. And Mickey had said he loved Jake. Whether he was telling the truth or not, Jake didn't know. He'd lied before.

And Mickey had been faster, in the end.


	2. Chapter 2

**Title: The Top Ten Reasons Mickey Smith Is _Not_ Rickey Smith  
**

**Summary: Mickey Smith is _not _Rickey Smith. But sometimes, Jake wishes he was. The second part of "The Top Ten Reasons Mickey Smith is _Not_ Rickey Smith".  
**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who. If I did I'd...probably still be writing fanfiction, but I wouldn't post it.  
**

**Notes: Jake/Mickey, past Jake/Rickey. So, yeah, concrit is very much appreciated, reviews are chocolate, concrit is truffles, and somewhere in there are jellybabies.  
**

Mickey Smith was not Rickey Smith. Jake knew that. But sometimes, he wasn't sure he could tell the difference. He wasn't even sure if it mattered anymore. If they were the same, he could have Rickey, or someone who may as well have been Rickey. Except he wasn't Rickey. He was the same, but he wasn't Rickey. He didn't have the same memories, he still fancied Rose, and he was faster. And Jake wasn't sure anymore if that was good or bad.

So he'd made a list. Another list, a different list. The Top Ten Reasons Why Mickey Smith May As Well Be Rickey Smith Even If They're Not Really The Same. It was the longest title he'd ever come up with (though only by three words).

1. Mickey looked the same as Rickey.

2. Mickey saved the world.

3. Mickey loved to run.

4. Mickey could do that thing with his tongue that Jake liked.

5. Mickey knew things about Jake that no one else did.

6. Mickey's name was the same. Except for, you know, the first letter, but what was that, really? An 'm' and an 'r'. They were both consonants. And if you looked closely, an 'm' was just an 'r' and an 'n' put together.

7. Mickey didn't mind if Jake called him Rickey. Not anymore.

8. Jake loved Mickey.

9. Mickey loved Jake.

10. When Mickey kissed Jake, he still felt safe.

But when Jake looked at Mickey, as hard as he tried, he couldn't always see Rickey. Mickey's face was softer, which was odd, since there facial structure was exactly the same. At least, that's what the Doc said. His smile was the same, his lips were the same, his teeth were the same. But there was something about Mickey's smile, something different, something besides the glint of the filling that Rickey never had.

With Rickey, the saving the world had been all business, danger, stay-away-from-your-loved-ones-or- they'll-die. It had had been fun, but it had been serious. They slept in the van more often than not, all three of them. But with Mickey, saving the world was...Paris. It was Paris and chocolate and running until you couldn't run anymore, and then collapsing in the back of the van and falling asleep. Together.

And Mickey was faster.

Mickey had learned to do that thing with his tongue in Paris. The second time they were in Paris. And sometimes, when he did it, Jake forgot he wasn't Rickey. Those were the times when Jake called him Rickey. Mickey had complained the first time, and they'd had a row, but it was okay now. Jake called him Rickey, and Mickey didn't mind, didn't stop.

Jake loved Mickey, and Mickey loved Jake. And Jake hated Mickey, a bit. Or, no, not hated him, exactly. Resented him. Jake resented Mickey for being faster. But he hated Rickey. Hated him for _not_ being faster. Hated him for not loving Jake enough to beat some stupid tin man. Hated him for how much he loved him.

And when Mickey kissed Jake, he felt safe. He' d felt safe with Rickey, he'd known that Rickey cared about him, that Rickey wouldn't let him get hurt, and that Rickey wouldn't let himself get killed. He'd been wrong. Thinking back, he thought he'd known, then, that Rickey wouldn't be around forever, that something might happen. That was why he used to bury his head in his coat at night so Rickey wouldn't see him crying.

And that was the difference, that was what made Mickey a different person from Rickey. He let Mickey see him cry.


End file.
